Sheen: Sold Out In Columbus (Barf)

Words can't express how ashamed I am to say I'm from Columbus right now. It was a wonderful Saint Patrick's Day with blue skies and sun, cartwheels at work with awesome coworkers, a fabulous corned beef and cabbage dinner and some time away from the house with the family, it was all good until I learned some disturbing news. 

Shame on all of you Columbus dumb asses who bought tickets to the Charlie Sheen freak show! Hope you all have fun stroking him off on April 6th. I just learned that the show is sold out according to several sources. 

Holy crap people! What the hell is wrong with you?! Isn't there more important things in your life or even more important things in the world to devote your attention to? I can only hope the show sold out due to large quantities of green beer being consumed today and the shallow drunks wake up tomorrow regretting their freak show ticket purchases! Please, please, please let this be the case because I really hate thinking that I live in a place where people mindlessly jump onto the Sheen band wagon. You're his pawns, you're like putty in his hands, you're being manipulated by a very sick man on a personal crusade to provoke more madness in a world that is mad enough. Shame on all you dumb asses.

This bit of news makes me want to vomit so I need to stop thinking about it. I don't want to go to bed with Charlie or his Sheen fiends on my mind. Must hit rewind. Must think of happy day events. Erase Sheen news. Ah, there we go. Cartwheels.