"My Torpedo Fell Over And Couldn't Stand Up Again" Tour Was A Flop (UPDATE)

So it was around 2:00 AM this morning when I learned that Detroit rejected Charlie Sheen last night at his opening show of his I'm an idiot and I have a torpedo exploding in my head tour...or it's called something like that. 

Well, ain't that a surprise. According to hundreds of reports following the failed one man show Sheen was booed off stage and thousands left the Fox Theater in Detroit chanting, "Refund - refund". Apparently Sheen's response to the failed debut is being blamed on the audience. Go figure, a mentally deranged egomaniac thinks his "winning" rants, pissing and moaning wasn't enjoyed by the packed house of 5,000some boobs because the audience turned out to be a bunch of idiots who wanted more for their money. Gee Charlie, maybe the audience should be blamed because they were idiots to buy tickets in the first place! 

A good majority of the ticket buyers did come to their senses half way through the failed event and walked out of the show before the curtain closed but the warlock still had a hundred or so "true" fans left when the house lights came up so he could have his torpedo...I mean ego, stroked by some brain cell deficient enablers.

To read more on the opening night of the My torpedo fell over and couldn't stand up again tour you can find a million reports but here's one from The Huffington Post. Charlie Sheen Booed Off Stage At Live Show In Detroit   

Oh, and one last tidbit of information. You know how it was reported that shows sold out across the country as soon as tickets went on sale for the Truth be known my torpedo fell asleep on my sweaty scrotum tour? Well, not really. Tickets may have sold but seats may not be filled unless all the secondary sellers...you know, scalpers, sell their lots of "#losing" tickets. What a bunch of fools I tell you! Here's a little article about that - Charlie Sheen Ticket Sales Aren't Winning After All  

I hate to be the bearer of bad news but the torpedo never made it past lift off Charlie. And as far as the ticket buyers are concerned...you're all a bunch of idiots...sorry to break that to you.

UPDATE: According to the official, stomach turning Charlie Sheen website I just learned that Chuck is donating $1 from every ticket sold for his Malfunctioning Torpedo tour to the Red Cross Japanese Earthquake Relief Fund. Okay, that makes me feel a wee bit better about all this Sheen madness. At least the 5000some boobs in Detroit who bought tickets can say they did something good with their eagerness to watch a train wreck.