The very first thing I learned today was that the tornado sirens blared across Franklin County as I soundly slept, drooling in my pillow, all warm and cozy in bed. Apparently a tornado warning was issued around 2:00something this morning but I didn't have a clue. Thank God I didn't hear them, I would have freaked and never been able to sleep. The house was well protected though as my very own Homeland Security dude was alert and ready to take action if the conditions worsened.
Tornadoes are my greatest fear. I'm fascinated by them and can't learn enough about them but they scare the living shit out of me. And living shit is really bad compared to dead shit by the way.
When I was a kid we didn't have tornado sirens, especially in rural Ohio. I can remember one Spring when it seemed like we were always taking shelter in the basement but even then I wasn't that scared that living shit came out of me. No, my greatest fear didn't start there, it started on a sunny Spring day in Toledo. I was a young kid in the backseat of the family's Rambler with mom and dad in the front. I remember how much I loved seeing the draw bridges in action and driving over those bridges every time we would go to the big city. But on that particular day, my love for driving over draw bridges turned ugly when the sunny skies became black in an instant, wind and rain came out of no where, and a tornado warning was announced on the car radio.
There we were, on top of a draw bridge stuck in rush hour traffic. I didn't know it was rush hour traffic at the time, I just thought everybody was trying to leave Toledo at the same time because of a monster tornado chasing them. Three lanes of traffic sat idle on the drawn up bridge waiting for a ship to pass by. Tall semis and cars were bumper to bumper and I will never forget seeing this kid on the walk way to the right of us being blown off his bike. The wind was so violent it blew this kid off his feet and one of the truckers opened his passenger door, reached out to catch the kid's arm, and swooped him into his cab. Meanwhile, the tall semi right next to us was being blown so hard it begin tipping toward our little Rambler, all the wheels on the opposite side of us left the ground. It was then when I began to whimper, "It's going to fall on us!"
My parents were so brave as they told me everything would be fine but I needed to curl up on the floor of the car. I did immediately because it was no time to disobey. They told me something like it's only a bad storm and I would feel better if I didn't watch out the window and just try to rest. They were unbelievably calm and their calmness helped calm me. I don't know what else really happened while we were stuck on the bridge but as soon as I felt the car moving at a steady speed I asked if I could get up and the answer was yes. We made it home and not much was ever mentioned about the experience again until I was in college. I asked my parents if they were scared that dreadful day when we were stuck on the bridge and it was then I learned that they were terrified. they also revealed that I wasn't told to curl up on the floor of the car because I was scared, I was told to do that because they thought it would be the only chance for me to survive having our car crushed by a truck.
So there's the root of my greatest fear...a Toledo tornado. I try to forget it but to this day the threat of a tornado still scares the living shit out of me. I've at least gotten over my fear of trucks.
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