SPLAT!

That's my arm with shades of pink latex paint. You should have seen the rest of me. I was pretty much covered with paint after a fun time at a video shoot today. The whole idea was to come prepared to get splattered and leave splattered in the colors of your choice. I was certainly splattered and it was a BLAST. Even my undies got splattered. How that happened I have no idea.

My toe held up during the shoot - thank God. I was very careful and wrapped it in gauze with neosporin. Then I wrapped it in saran wrap and taped it shut. The only part of my body that didn't get paint on it was my second toe on my right foot. Now I'm pampering my sick toe with an Epsom salt foot bath...ahhh, that feels so good.

So here's what I learned today. Don't open your mouth during a paint fight AND treat yourself to Epsom salt foot baths even when your feet are healthy. It feels heavenly.   

Sandals Can Be Hazardous To Your Health

Boy. Did I ever learn a big lesson today. Don't wear sandals to work. I had a little accident today when my exposed toes made contact with a piece of machinery at work this morning. When my little piggies struck the corner of a metal printer on the floor it sent a shock wave through my body and I immediately became concerned. Concerned that I might have scraped my freshly groomed nails and my royal blue polish would be marred. Well, sure enough, one toenail was definitely marred. 

Ha. Marred! That's an understatement. My poor, poor toenail was ripped up like the hood on a car. Holy shit that hurt! I can't believe it, the first day I wear sandals this Spring and I manage to fuck up my foot. And of all days to have a ripped toenail, the day of the Mother Artists at Work: Laboring exhibit opening. 

I couldn't let an injured toe stop me today. I just had to suck it up and be a soldier like my dad would tell me when I was a kid. I tapped in to my mind-over-matter super hero powers, practiced some lamaze breathing, covered the wound with a Hello Kitty bandage, slipped on socks to absorb the blood and limped to my big opening after leaving work early. 

A beautiful exhibit and wonderful friends distracted me from the throbbing ache and blood moistened sock but by the end of the day, I couldn't wait to get home and take care of my 'marred' nail. After cleaning it and applying a new bandage I popped a vicodin and called it a day. I have no idea what to expect tomorrow or what to do with my injury but for now I'm just going to enjoy feeling comfortably numb and get a good nights rest. 

     

Shit! A Zit!

Really super short blog tonight. I'm busy, busy, busy so there's no time to ramble on and on bitching about something. So here's what I discovered today. I have a fucking zit! Damn! And I have an exhibit opening tomorrow. Oh well, I'll just have to charm the crowd with my dazzling smile and inappropriate ways. Maybe they won't notice the volcano erupting on my jaw line.

That's it. Gotta go!

Violence vs. Dickless --- Violence Wins

Mission accomplished! My evil, family unfriendly piece of art has been replaced with a family friendlier piece for the Mother Artists at Work: Laboring exhibition
. 

 
Much better. What the hell was I thinking in the first place...submitting a piece of art with the word Dickless? How did I not know that the general public would be offended by such work? I'm so stupid. Of course a piece depicting a man being burned in the face with an iron is WAY more family friendly. Well, now I know, society likes violent humor more than sans dick humor. This would explain why America's Funniest Videos is still on the air. People LOVE watching small children and the elderly fall and seeing a head injury in the making. Well, I'm just happy I was able to replace my offensive piece with a kinder, gentler piece today. The gallery has been very nice and I totally appreciate the way they have handled everything. I'm really not bitching, I'm just sharing my uncensored opinions and laughing about this whole thing. It amuses me.


So to end this evening's blog I have a special treat...Dickless. : by Fluffee Talks. I think Fluffee is a rising star so sit back and enjoy!

 





 

Society Doesn't Like The Name Dick Or Thinking About Penises

I think the most flattering thing that happened to me today was having a piece of artwork censored! It's like getting a Girl Scout badge for being a bad ass. I'm not bragging and I'm not counting but I have TWO Bad Ass badges now and I proudly wear them on my invisible sash. But I'm not bragging.

Here's the deal. I'm not trying to make work that's controversial, I'm just making work I enjoy making. I make it for me first then it's for whoever else who chooses to view it or better yet, buy it. Getting censored from time to time doesn't bother me. It actually makes my nipples a little bit hard when I get censored because censorship boils down to societal expectations...the very thing my artwork is about. It's about a 1960's housewife trying to break free from a toxic relationship AND society's expectations of what a good little wifey should be.

This is the evil, family unfriendly piece that got rejected from an upcoming exhibit. The 'Dickless Home' and 'Dick's Out' combo would be the problem here. Society doesn't like the name Dick or thinking about penises. Well, that's not really how the censorship was presented to me, that's just me being a dick. Actually, my notification of the censorship was the loveliest rejection email I've ever gotten. I have no hard feelings. How could I have hard feelings? I do my artwork for me and I'm not offended by it and my family unfriendly work has been seen by my own family everyday for 10 years and have yet to show signs of being emotionally scarred. Seriously, why would I be upset? It's all good.

Well, enough about my censorship. I have another Bad Ass badge to sew on my invisible sash then I'm off to bed.






   

 

Streaking Day

I love my part time job but it was sure nice to have the day off. My soul needed it and my daughter needed it too. We spent the day together fulfilling one of her birthday wishes...purple streaks in her hair and a new pair of jeggings. You know, leggings + jeans = jeggings.

The girl decided to skip the salon scene and have me funkafy her hair at home. I've never put purple streaks in hair before but she trusted I could do it. Boy, talk about pressure! I warned her that it could end up a disaster but she still had faith I could do it...so dying streaks of purple is what I did. Well, sort of.

The one thing I learned today was hair needs bleached before applying any wacky color. Seems like I should have known that already but I didn't. So the bleaching was a success for both of us. Yes, I decided to bleach a few streaks on my head too. I hated to see the hair bleach go to waste. The next step was applying the purple dye on the girl's bleached streaks and that went well too, except the dye dried blue, not purple. 

My girl is such a sweet thing. She admitted she wished the streaks were purple but she was still thrilled and within minutes fell in love with her stripes of blue. And I too am thrilled with my bleached blond streaks. I'm also thrilled to have a happy girl with a birthday wish that came true.

   

Easter 2011 - Thumbs Up

I rose from the dead (without a headache) around noon today and that was a beautiful thing. Sleeping in was such a treat for me, along with allowing myself to set my burdens free for just one day. I soooooo needed a good night's rest and a day off from extreme stress.

It was a nice Easter. Kids liked their baskets filled with goodies. They got personal hygiene products, Jarritos Pineapple (Pina) soda, vintage candies like Zots, Mary Janes, and Buns with Maple. And the best thing I think they got are the vintage wax mustaches!!! I almost picked up the vintage wax lips I saw but decided mustaches are way funnier. The kids definitely thought they were pretty funny. They even agreed to a group shot when I suggested a photo shoot. I was so pleased because that was part of my master plan when I bought the wax mustaches. I think I'll have to make this an Easter tradition then when I'm super old they can come see me in my nursing home in Ampsterdam on Easter and wear their wax mustaches to make me feel good when I have excessive amounts of wild ear, nose, and facial hair.

Another highlight of the day was our family movie night. We saw Hanna and it was fabulous. The flick gets a huge thumbs up from all five of us. So yes, the movie was great but even better than that, spending time with my family was even greater.