Cough it up Fifth Third

One of the best things I learned today was how incredibly easy it is to submit a claim to the Fifth Third Bank Class Action Settlement. My heart danced as I hit submit along with thousands of other victims. Ah-ha! You greedy bastards. 

Old Man Potter - It's A Wonderful Life

After discovering the Settlement was legit I began searching for my old bank statements and naturally I couldn't find what I needed. Damn. I had to call those greedy bastards at the bank. I was convinced it was going to be a long, drawn out phone call with no results. They connected me to a greedy bastard personal banker and I asked for account statements dating back a few years. The GBPB (greedy bastard personal banker) informs me I can order a hard copy for $5 per page! Five dollars a page?! WTF?

My GBPB sensed my disgust. Probably when I muttered something like...What the hell? You already gouged me a shit load of money! After a brief pause my GBPB quietly agrees that I shouldn't have to pay for my statements and then offers to retrieve everything I needed and supply me the information. The clouds parted and a ray of sunshine beat down on me. Suddenly my GBPB became an angel. Within an hour I had the information I needed. Today I visited the website, supplied my information and hit submit. Such a good feeling! Sure, getting three times the amount of overdraft fees returned is great but jabbing it to those greedy fat cats at Fifth Third Bank makes me just as tingly. 

So that's what I learned. It's very easy to submit a claim. I encourage all Fifth Third victims to do the same.