Reshuffled Priorities

Well, that was quite a pause now wasn't it? Two weeks of no blogging. I didn't even say, "catch ya later" or "I'll be back in a few". I just disappeared. Sometimes other things happen in life. Some great things, some shitty things, and some really, really shitty things. Some things just happen and when lots and lots of things happen all at the same time you have to step back, scratch your head, mumble, "What the fuck?", and set some priorities. That's what happened to me...I had to reshuffle my priorities and blogging every night wasn't on the top of my list. I wanted to blog. I really did! 

In a nut shell, here are some adventures I had over the last two weeks:

• Ceiling fell in (It was loud - thought it was a break-in, thank God it wasn't) 
• Planted Calli Lilies that a friend surprised me with :)
• Said a goodbye to another wonderful co-worker (snif-snif)
• Was defriended by my sibling on facebook (whatever, now I only have 1100 more friends than him -- na-na-na-na-boo-boo)
• Looking for a new place to live
• Found the perfect place to live
• Still waiting to hear if we got the perfect place to live
• Packing
• Cleaning
• Living in a hot house...a really hot house
• Fixed a broken printer
• Dealt with an angry computer that didn't like the really hot house either
• Got another freelance gig teaching art to Senior Citizens (I LOVE old people!)
• Fell in love with the landlord of the perfect house we want to live in (he's old and I want to adopt him)
• Childhood home in contract (I dance for joy and take breaks to wipe a tear or two...goodbye home)
• Bought gas for $1.86 per gallon (that made my nipples hard!)

That's all I'll share for now. 

I might be back tomorrow or I might not. It's not that I don't want to write my rambling commentaries but there's shit to do folks! I have 17 years of stuff to pitch or pack!!!!

You'll Be Missed

A very special person entered my life about 3 months ago. I had no idea this person would touch my heart the way she did. This would be the very first person who trained me at the new job I landed in February. We began working together at 9:00 AM my first day at work and by 4:00 PM I knew I could fall in love with this girl.  Three months later, I can definitely say I love her. I love her as friend, a sister, and even like a daughter...like in the way a mother wants only the best for her kid and expects to hear about all the adventures and accomplishments so she can boast and be incredibly proud. It's that kind of love, mixed with a large helping of sisterhood and friendship. This girl radiates joy and goodness and turns my heart into a warm sappy ball of gooey love and laughter.


Today, this very special person celebrated her last day at work. It was bitter sweet for me but I tried not to show the bitter part. Today we all celebrated her awesomeness and said goodbye the best way we could while trying to get work done. I'm going to miss this girl as she rides off into the sunset on her way to San Fransisco but I have a feeling she will stick with me for the rest of my life. Some people have that effect...their goodness and joy sneaks into your heart and never leaves.

This sums it up the best. My farewell message written on the bathroom wall.

 





 

311 And The Best Trash Dudes Ever

Boy! I learned lots today! It started at 8:19 this morning when I called 311. First off, I learned how fast and painless it is to call the City of Columbus Call Center to ask why my bulk pick up dudes didn't pick up my bulk. They were scheduled for a pickup yesterday but nothing was taken. 

I spoke with the nicest Call Center representative and she immediately scheduled another pick up. I was informed it may not be removed until tomorrow but it would definitely be gone by the weekend. After my 2 minute phone call I hung up and smiled. What a wonderful surprise it was to talk to a city employee first thing in the morning and feel like a valued customer. I was totally prepared to be a bitch and demand my pile of crap be removed ASAP and threaten to contact the media about poor service but instead, I feel I need to write a letter to compliment my Call Center representative and compliment the City too. Yes, I am now a big 311 fan.

The next lesson learned was at 9:37. The phone rang and it was my bulk pickup dudes, they were in the back alley. They told me they couldn't remove my crap! Grrrrrr. Hearing that stirred the crazed bitch in me but after asking why, Trash Dude explained and I felt better. Our crap was still on our property, not the City's property, and when that happens the crap can't be picked up. It's a liability thing. Trash dude said it would all have to be moved about 4 feet to be on City Property then they could pitch it. I told them not to leave and I would be right out to move the crap.

At this point I was having mixed emotions about the whole thing. Part of me was pleased that my crap was going to be gone but the other part of me thought the whole thing was stupid and I was going to feel stupid moving my stupid crap, all by myself, while the trash dudes watched, then they would move the stupid crap again while I watched them complete the job. Seriously, isn't that down right stupid?! 


Well, once again I got myself worked up for nothing. I meet Trash Dude 1, Trash Dude 2, and Trash Dude 3 in the alley and as soon as I started trying to move some of the trashed furniture they quickly stopped me. They were the sweetest Trash Dudes I've ever met. They would not allow me to move anything and happily did the job without my help. I still picked up a few loose items because I was dying to throw them in the heavy duty garbage crushing truck just to watch the powerful crushing action. It was great!

Although I learned plenty other things today I think I'll just stick to the lessons learned with my City of Columbus experiences. I have to say, our City workers are fine folks and I should never have thought they were going to be complete dicks. Shame on me for expecting the worst.  
     

Prehensile Erectilesaurise: A Hand Contortion Of An Aroused Monster

I learned the coolest thing ever today. A super cool hand trick thingy bob. I guess it's more like a hand contortion. Thanks to one of my lovely coworkers at my acting job I learned how to do this!

Pretty cool right? I'm so glad another lovely coworker was armed and ready with her nifty cell phone to take a shot before I untangled my hands. She was on her toes when she suggested, "Blog!" Thanks lovely coworkers!!!

So can you see it? The creature? It has red eyes, a snout, a mouth, and a tongue but my creature's tongue is drooping and may be interpreted as a different creature feature. You know, that feature male creatures have. I don't know much about this particular species but it almost looks like my creature could be slightly aroused. 

In case you don't see the well hung creature above I made a more pictorial image of the monster. Maybe this will help...

RAWR!

 There's my super scary Prehensile Erectilesaurise. Watch out!!! 

We're Doing It Yutang!

Holy carpoli, am I ever going to be sore tomorrow. The soreness is already creeping in but I'm embracing it with all my heart. This is one of those full body aches that screams, "Thanks for waking us up!" ...us as in all us muscles. I had quite the workout today just working and cleaning. Oh yeah, and doing one cartwheel just for shits and giggles.

Today my productivity was off the charts. The biggest accomplishment was clearing a shit load of useless shit out of the house for bulk pick up to get tomorrow morning. I wasn't the only one working my tail off, the whole endeavor was a family affair. We pulled our strategy together and executed the plan and I must say, it feels great...for the mind, body AND soul. Purging the nonessential feels great! With a heavy dose of Clutter-Be-Gone I can only hope my house comes down with a few more bulimic episodes.

Being a natural born pack rat it ain't easy to let go of stuff but when you finally do, you realize how nice it feels to have less junk. Lin Yutang is right. Eliminating the non-essentials is how one can really live life. Just the physical act of eliminating crap is rewarding. It's a form of exercise and the body loves that. All the hard work is worth the sore muscles and body odor as it reminds you that you did something. It's good stuff I tell you. I'm feeling mighty fine right now. I had a good workout and eliminated a LOT of non-essentials so I can begin living life to the fullest again. Yay!

I'm working on a group project with some lovely ladies and one of the final touches for this fabulous project is the sound of a toilet flushing. I did a quick google search and found several toilet flushing sound clips but the best one of all came from hark.com . Hark is my big discovery of the day. This site is a hoot! Not only do they have sound effects, they also have sound clips of famous quotes by famous people and memorable moments from TV and movies. 

Here's a few of my favorite sound clips I found this evening... 

Fun stuff, right?! I do believe Hark.com is bookmark worthy.

Who Needs Soapnuts Anyway?

Besides learning that I must be a sinner because I wasn't swept away to heaven yesterday I can't say I learned a whole heck of a lot today. I decided to move slow but steady this Sunday as I prepare for another crazy ass week that begins tomorrow. 

One small discovery I made was the sudden serge of page views for Wenis & Soapnuts For the last couple months my wenis and soapnuts have been viewed about 50 times a day bringing the all time total to 1477 views. Who knew the wenis was so popular?

So when I noticed my wenis and soapnuts blog was getting some attention I got thinking...where the hell are my soapnuts??? I requested my free sample of soapnuts months ago and I still haven't gotten them! I guess you get what you pay for but it still would have been nice to try out those mysterious sopanuts and see what the buzz is about. Oh well, at least I have two of my very own wenises. Who needs soapnuts anyway? Having two saggy wenises is much more important because without them I don't think my arms would bend and if your arms don't bend you would never be able to bring food to your mouth, a drink to your lips, wash your hair, brush your teeth, wipe your butt, hug, put deodorant on, oh my God, there's a lot of things you would never be able to do! Praise the wenis and screw the soapnuts. I'd take a couple wenises over soapnuts any day because without saggy wenises we would be skinny, dehydrated, oily haired people with rotten teeth, poopy dingleberries, and wicked BO.