Go Explore Uranus Ophiuchus!

Alright Ophiuchus, I'm telling you right now, you are not welcome. What?...you really thought you could just come strolling back after all those years? Seriously dude, you're stirring up some shit here.  Listen, Snake Boy, you need to go away, take a trip, hitch a ride on the Enterprise, explore Uranus. You need to squat some place else because you and your snake shoved me into Sagittarius. I'm a Capricorn damn it! You're not going to push me around! 

A star chart of Ophiuchus. From Atlas Coelestis, John Flamsteed, London, 1753.

That's what I learned first thing this morning, Ophiuchus has returned as the 13th Zodiac sign. The second thing I learned? I was no longer a Capricorn. Yep, Ophiuchus bumped me to Sagittarius and to make it even worse, I got bumped on my birthday!

Although the initial news about my astrological identity theft put a small burr up my ass I got over it and waited for more information about Snake Boy's squatting. Thankfully I found this in the International Business Times :

Amid the snowballing commotion over the perceived proposition of the 13th Zodiac sign, several astrologers are trying to calm the panicky astrology-believers with assurances that nothing has really changed in their stars. Meanwhile, the astronomer who began the whole ordeal, has also come out to clarify that he never contended that Ophiuchus ought to be added to the existing list of 12 signs. 

Thank God! I have my Capricorn back! Nothing against my Sagittarius friends, I just like being a mountain goat.