Thank You Mr. Peanut

Mr. Peanut logo owned by Kraft Food, Inc.

Here's to you you crazy nut. Thanks Mr. Peanut, you sure came through. I had no idea you actually noticed me. I bet my little rant on your facebook page caught your spectacle covered eye. Guess I was feeling a little bitchy that day when the Free Package of Planters Almonds deal fell through. I went to your facebook page, I even 'liked' you, then followed all the directions to redeem my free pack of almonds and your stink'n website bit my wenis. (I just had to use wenis because it's my favorite new word) The site crashed and the deal I was waiting for fell through so I had to send you a message on facebook Mr. Peanut. I was a tad upset. 

To be quite honest I forgot about my failed almond deal by the next day. I got over it pretty fast but then I REALLY got over it when I received your surprise gift in the mail today.

I'm sorry for telling you that you sucked. And telling you I gave up on your nuts and I'd rather stick with store brand nuts anyway. I didn't mean it. I was just mad at you. 

Mr. Peanut, I mean this from the bottom of my wenis, you're one swell nut. Thanks for noticing and consulting with your ad agency, Kraft Food, Inc. and your damage control specialists. You understand your consumer market of nut eaters and went out of your way to please one little old nut biter in Columbus, Ohio.