The Crapstar

This set

of wheels

kicks Ford

Crapstar's ass.

It isn't new news but the Ford Windstar is a piece of crap. I know this to be fact, we have one. I refer to it as the Crapstar. What is new news is my Crapstar went in for a recall today and it returned home. I didn't want it to return home. I wanted the rear axle to be replaced and be in the shop for three months so I could have a nice reliable rental to get me through the winter. But noooooooo, my shitmobile had to come home again. 

In case you aren't familiar with one of these jalopies let me fill you in on all the fun I've had with my Crapstar. Two rebuilt transmissions, a broken rear axle, melted plastic from a loose light bulb, speed control issues, an electric window that won't go down and vehicular Tourette Syndrome. Everyday when I drive the Crapstart I can always count on a Tourette Syndrome outburst. The interior lights begin flashing on and off like a strobe light blinking to the beat of sporadic buzzing. And the buzzing? It's not quiet. It's disturbingly loud! I sometimes feel like I'm driving this beauty...

Remember her? It's Christine! I think my Ford Crapstar is Christine's big goofy brother and he needs an exorcism. 

Oh, have I mentioned I hate my van? I also hate that I didn't do my research before buying Christine's sibling. Had I done a little research I would have known that Ford gave birth to spawn of Satan and would never have bought my lemon. Well, I guess that's just one of those life lessons. Next time I'll do my research.