I finally figured out why I've been feeling so melancholy all day. It's Good Friday. Of course I would feel like this, I seem to always feel like this on Not Feeling So Good Friday every year. I've been conditioned well. As a kid, Good Friday was always kind of an eerie day growing up Catholic and going to Catholic school with lots of serious nuns with yard sticks and paddles. It seems like every Good Friday is gray and rainy or sunny in the morning and a sudden storm hits at lunch hour. Today was one of those gray and rainy days...that didn't help with the blahs.
I'm no longer the good little Catholic I used to be but some traditions seem to stick with me, like feeling not so good on Good Friday. It's not that I feel sick, just blah, like I have a heavy weight on my heart. As I try to pin point what exactly it is that's weighing on me I stir up all sorts of things that have been bringing me down, then I get even more down because some things are such downers I don't even want to face them.
It's hard to face the fact that you have a sibling that has severed ties, has made some huge boner mistakes, and has become a dishonest person. Pretty tough stuff to have to face. Now that I've accepted that the family tree has a broken branch I question who will carry the cross made from the branch? I have to remember it's not my cross to bare.
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